


Acceptance

by hrhrionastar



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-25
Updated: 2011-11-25
Packaged: 2017-10-26 12:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrhrionastar/pseuds/hrhrionastar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Real love isn't like in fairytales. Richard and Kahlan have a quarrel.</p><p>Note: This takes place in season 2, directly after <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/273488">Witch</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acceptance

Kahlan stumbled blindly away from the fire.

She felt stunned. Richard was normally so considerate.

The story he'd told of his precious Hans and Greta had taken her by surprise. That made it worse, somehow.

Kahlan knew most people viewed her with a combination of fear and awe, as though she were a creature as utterly alien to humanity as a dragon.

But that _Richard_ would see her that way hurt.

"He doesn't mean anything by it."

Kahlan turned at the sound of Cara's voice. There she stood, the Mord'Sith who had, against all their combined training, become Kahlan's friend.

"What are you doing here?" Kahlan demanded. Didn't Cara realize she just wanted to be left alone?

Cara rolled her eyes. The sight was so familiar as to be heart-catching.

"You'd rather I left you by yourself in an abandoned clearing to be attacked by a horde of banelings?" Cara asked sardonically, gesturing around at the silent trees.

"There are no hordes of banelings," Kahlan pointed out. After a moment she added, "fortunately for them."

Cara gave her a sharp look.

Kahlan sighed. "I don't need a nurse, Cara. Or even a bodyguard."

"If you're sure," Cara said. Her tone plainly indicated that _she_ wasn't sure, but was too tactful to say so.

In another mood, this would have made Kahlan smile. Anyone less inclined to be tactful than Cara would be hard to find.

After another uncertain pause, Cara turned to go.

"Cara?" Kahlan asked softly. "Am I a monster?"

Cara didn't look at Kahlan. Was she angry at the question, or merely contemptuous of Kahlan's weakness?

"If you are," Cara said flatly, "then so am I."

Kahlan's Confessor powers did not give her the ability to read minds. Nonetheless, she heard Cara's unspoken thought as clearly as if the Mord'Sith had shouted. _And surely I'm a monster anyway._

Kahlan drew breath to refute the idea, finally shaken out of her own depression. But Cara was gone before Kahlan could argue with her on the nature of monsters.

It was probably just as well. Kahlan wasn't in a good state to give an encouraging lecture at the moment.

She sat down on a tree stump and buried her face in her hands.

The Keeper was trying to destroy all life. It was stupid to be sitting here in the meager light of a gibbous moon crying about Richard's nightwisp story.

Kahlan tried to stop her foolish weeping and behave with the dignity befitting the Mother Confessor, rightful ruler of the Midlands.

She was still trying when someone else interrupted her.

"Kahlan?"

The Mother Confessor sniffed, wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her gown, and looked up.

Richard dropped to his knees before Kahlan. Sincerity shone out of his eyes like sunlight. Normally Kahlan found that blinding confidence and belief in what was right reassuring. Now it just made her angrier.

"I didn't know about the massacres in Westland of everyone with magic," Richard said. "Kahlan, you have to believe me. I never meant to hurt you."

Kahlan stared at him. "What massacres? That's awful!"

"After the Boundary went up," Richard said, frowning in apparent confusion. "Zedd told me. Isn't that why the Hans and Greta story upset you?"

"No!" Kahlan exclaimed. She sprang to her feet, unable to keep sitting still.

Horrifying as the revelation was that countless innocent people whose only crime had been being born with magic had been murdered hundreds of years ago, at the moment Kahlan was far more upset that Richard apparently _still_ had no idea why she'd stormed off.

"Richard, how did you think I would feel, when you're talking about a witch who steals the souls of children? And then they burn her alive, the children recover, and there's general rejoicing?" Kahlan demanded, pacing the clearing. She narrowly avoided running into trees in her agitation. The darkness didn't help.

"I didn't think you'd take it so personally!" Richard said, getting to his feet too. "Aren't you overreacting a little?"

Kahlan glared at him. "That story was obviously about a Confessor! Zedd and Cara both knew that; are you really telling me you didn't see it?"

There was a small silence, during which Kahlan's chest rose and fell in time with her hurried breathing, straining her bodice laces. She felt more worked up than she usually was during baneling attacks, and was at once on her guard. Her Confessor powers hovered just beneath her skin, waiting for their moment. Any loss of control could be an opening, and then she would be a danger to everyone around her. She forced her breathing to slow.

"I'm sorry, Kahlan," Richard said quietly, "I didn't think—"

"You _never_ think," Kahlan said bitterly, cutting across his apology.

Part of her knew she should just accept Richard's words, and then they'd go back to Zedd and Cara, and Cara would take first watch and Richard and Kahlan would fall asleep holding hands, the way they did every night.

But she couldn't bring herself to let it go, not this time. Because maybe Richard would kiss her, and she would start to feel safe and alive in his arms, like the world was made just for them. Everyone knew the Creator blessed lovers.

And always, absolutely every time, it would be _Kahlan_ who had to tear herself out of Richard's embrace and say patiently, 'you know we can't.'

"You don't care about my thoughts, you don't care about my feelings!" she screamed at Richard. "You just want me because I'm—unattainable!"

"Oh, that is _not_ fair!" Richard yelled back. Now he was angry too. Kahlan was glad.

"I love you more than anything in the world! I always listen to your thoughts, even when you're going on and on about people I love not meeting your standards! I don't know who you think is good enough for you, Kahlan, but I try to be, every day."

Richard reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Kahlan's ear. She frowned at this gesture of tenderness in the middle of his rant.

"I can't even stay angry with you," Richard said more quietly. "I love you, Kahlan Amnell. I love your strength. I love your courage. I love the way you always look so beautiful, even when we've been fighting for our lives all day. I love your willingness to sacrifice everything for what's right. I love that you believe in me. Every day, you make me a better man. And yes, I love your powers. They're part of you, and I love everything about you."

Kahlan only realized she was crying when a tear dripped into the corner of her mouth. It tasted salty.

"How can you love a soul-stealing witch?" Kahlan asked shakily.

Richard frowned. "Kahlan, you're not—"

"If the shoe fits," Kahlan said, making an ambiguous gesture and stepping out of Richard's reach. He could melt her resolve with a touch.

"That's a different fairytale, isn't it?" Richard said lightly.

Kahlan stiffened. Was he making fun of her? And 'fairytale'?

"What's a fairytale?" she hissed. "Do you mean a nightwisp story? I can't even talk to you!"

Unfair, she knew. Richard had grown up in Westland, where they doubtless had other customs. It was a miracle that he spoke the Common Tongue at all.

Richard sighed.

No doubt he thought she was being silly. And she was, but the realization wasn't enough to snap her out of it.

Kahlan dug her fingers into her hair, pulling at the roots as though by so doing she could keep herself from thinking.

As a distraction, it was actually not bad. Kahlan's hair was important to her.

Richard grabbed her wrists and yanked her closer. Their lips met.

Kahlan pulled a few strands of hair out before she had the sense to let go.

She buried her hands in Richard's hair instead, and her back hit a tree trunk, and she forgot all the reasons this was a bad idea.

Kahlan would've had to be made of stone not to forgive Richard after his declaration of love. He said that sort of thing so well—and so often.

There were other things he did well, too.

Kahlan moaned, as she and Richard broke apart to breathe.

Richard cradled her face in his hands. This time he was the one breathing hard.

Kahlan seized a handful of his shirt and pulled him toward her again. The world never made more sense than when Richard was kissing her.

Her power stirred. It was heady and sweet, beating through her veins in time to her racing heart.

Reluctantly, Kahlan broke the kiss.

"You know we can't," she whispered huskily.

Richard stroked his fingers gently through Kahlan's hair. She leaned into the caress.

"You could just let go," Richard suggested. "I know you won't Confess me. You love me too much."

"I do love you too much," Kahlan agreed.

If she had the strength to leave Richard for good, he wouldn't be in danger from her.

Of course, he would still be in danger from everything else. And she could hardly abandon him now, when the whole world was depending on them to stop the Keeper.

But how could he stand there with his arms still around her and tell her she wasn't going to Confess him?

"It's going to be okay," Richard said, pulling Kahlan into a hug. He must have seen her expression.

"That's easy for you to say," Kahlan muttered against his shoulder. "You're not the one who would have to live with the knowledge that you'd destroyed the soul of the one person you love more than anything in the world."

"Oh, I don't know," Richard mused. "You might not have to live with it. I'm sure Cara would kill you, if you asked as a friend."

Kahlan bit back a surprised laugh. Did he think teasing her was going to solve anything?

"That's not funny," she said, gently twisting out of his arms.

"Oh, you know it is," Richard grinned.

He was so beautiful. So perfect. A hero, in every way. And he was hers.

Kahlan swallowed more tears.

Then she took Richard's hand and they walked back to camp. Zedd was still sitting at the fire eating marshmallows, and Cara was pretending to polish her agiel.

No one referred to Richard's nightwisp story or Kahlan's reaction to it. The silence had a sort of awkward familiarity. Uncomfortable, and yet homey at the same time.

Cara took first watch. Richard and Kahlan lay down facing each other, with just enough distance between their bedrolls that if Kahlan had the nightmare of Confessing Richard again she probably wouldn't wake to find it had become reality.

"Am I a monster?" Kahlan whispered.

Richard looked outraged.

"Am I a witch?" Kahlan asked.

Richard looked thoughtful. "Is that bad, in the Midlands?" he inquired.

Kahlan considered. "I guess not," she allowed.

Richard propped himself up on one elbow and held Kahlan's eyes with his warm brown ones.

She waited, not sure want she wanted him to say. No matter what he chose to believe, their situation was without solution. She would always be a Confessor. She would never risk his soul.

Everything else was just…wishful thinking.

"Kahlan," Richard said firmly, "you defy category."

Kahlan smiled. Just when she thought she couldn't love him more, Richard would say something like that. It was enough to make her hate him for being so much more than she deserved.

She took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together.

Richard's warm brown eyes were the last thing Kahlan saw before she fell asleep.


End file.
